How do I know it's abuse?

I mean, maybe I'm overreacting. 

Maybe I'm too sensitive. Or not patient enough. Or I just don't understand them? 

If I tried harder, maybe it'll fix things? 

Or maybe we could go to counseling, or... maybe I should go? Because....

...what if I'm the one who's the problem?


If you find yourself thinking things like that, ask yourself: If a friend, or a co-worker, or your partner, or a family member, or your kid-- if someone you cared about was in your position, and asked for your advice, what would you say to them?

Part of recovering from abuse is 

learning to show yourself the respect and compassion that you'd show to someone else in your situation.

Magnetism vs Normalization

Sometimes, it feels like we go from one abusive relationship to another-- sometimes not as bad as the one before it, sometimes worse.

And if it happens again and again, maybe you start to wonder if you're sending out signals to toxic people. "Hey, you! Yeah, you, you big A-hole! Are you looking for someone to lie to or bully or scapegoat or scream at or beat up? Because I'm totally available!"