Survival's Got Talent!

Survival's Got Talent!

Calling All Performers and Future Stars!
Survival's Got Talent will take place Saturday, January 4, 2020 from 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm!
The Survival's Got Talent runner up will be the Opening Act for Survival’s Second Chance Prom with the winner being awarded exclusive performer status for Survival's premiere 2020 event Second Chance Prom!
Survival's Second Chance Prom is February 27, 2020!

Happiness Village Baby Panda Garden

We hope the holiday week went well for you.
Take care of yourself, okay?
Okay.

Description: Dark background. Dove in foreground, carrying an olive branch.

Description: Dog wearing reindeer antlers and a red nose, running through snow.
Text: "Dachshund through the snow"

Let's get help for ourselves-- and help out others, too.

Description: Two people reaching out to one another, against the background of a sky with a sun.

Description

Top picture: A husky dog nuzzling a toy. Text: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Middle picture: The dog looking to the right, mouth open like it's smiling. Text: Tinselitis!

Bottom picture: The dog looking at the camera, mouth open. It looks like it's laughing.

Description: Two Christmas light bulbs, one green and one red, talking to each other.

Green bulb: Working over the holidays?

Red bulb: Off and on...

(Background: cartoon of a smiling elf)

Q: What do you call a Christmas
parody song that isn't funny?

A: The First No-LOL!

(painfulpuns.com)

REMINDER: You don't owe people an explanation.

• What do you mean, you won't visit your parent?!
• I know you broke up with your abuser, but it's almost Christmas. You should really give them one more chance.
• You don't spend time with your family during the holidays?! Why not?!?!

...and on and on and on (and on and on and on). Flying Monkeys ask things like that, but so do well-intentioned people. Sometimes, people who don't know you well will ask out of politeness or to make small talk.

It can be hard to remember that you don't actually have to give them specific answers. You can choose to; but you can also choose not to. The trick is, deciding what not-answer you want to give. 

TL;DR: When in doubt, try keeping your reactions short, calm, and polite. And you don't owe other people explanations about your personal life... even if they think you do!

The Elephant of Encouragement is on your side!

Description: A hand-drawn picture of an elephant standing on a grassy hill, with trees on either side. The text above the elephant reads, "The Elephant of Encouragement". The elephant's speech bubble says "You can do it!"

It Wasn't That Bad. Was it?

One of the hardest parts of recovery is-- okay, hang on. Let's start over.

Abuse is something that happens to other people, right? 

I mean, your partner didn't mean to scream at you, they're just really stressed out right now. They didn't mean it when they hit you that one time. Or that second time. They didn't mean to call you names. They didn't mean to kick you out of the house.

Your parents totally tried to be good parents, but they had rough childhoods. They didn't mean to hurt you when they told you you were useless and worthless.

So, yeah, not abusive at all. Right? RIGHT??!!

WRONG

I know it has been tough, but I'm still cheering for you. (Always.)

I know it has been tough, but I'm still cheering for you.

(Always.)

Self-validation: swap places

So self-doubt is a PITA to deal with. It's bad enough that you're dealing with all the crap that comes along with recovering from abuse, but when you start to question yourself, too? Yeah. No fun.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive? 

Maybe I'm over-reacting-- maybe it wasn't that bad?

Maybe if I just tried harder to understand them?

Maybe it isn't their fault? I mean, they were abused as a kid.

Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I'm the abuser.

If that starts going around in your head, ask yourself this: if someone else-- a friend, a family member, a co-worker, whatever-- was in your situation, and asked for your opinion, what would you say?

Would you tell them they were the one to blame? That they were abusive? That they should go apologize, and quit being dramatic?

Or would you tell them that they hadn't done anything wrong? That their partner had no right to scream at them. That their family member shouldn't have thrown the coffee cup at them. That it was okay for them to be angry-- that you'd be angry, too-- that you're angry for them!

Part of recovery from abuse, is learning to show yourself the same compassion you would show to someone else. It isn't always easy, but it's still very important.