REMINDER: You don't owe people an explanation.

• What do you mean, you won't visit your parent?!
• I know you broke up with your abuser, but it's almost Christmas. You should really give them one more chance.
• You don't spend time with your family during the holidays?! Why not?!?!

...and on and on and on (and on and on and on). Flying Monkeys ask things like that, but so do well-intentioned people. Sometimes, people who don't know you well will ask out of politeness or to make small talk.

It can be hard to remember that you don't actually have to give them specific answers. You can choose to; but you can also choose not to. The trick is, deciding what not-answer you want to give. 

TL;DR: When in doubt, try keeping your reactions short, calm, and polite. And you don't owe other people explanations about your personal life... even if they think you do!

JADE - how it does and doesn’t work.

JADE means Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain, and when you're dealing with abusers / toxics / narcissists, it's generally not very helpful.

The JADE approach can work— if everyone involved in the disagreement is willing to listen to one another, and work together to fix the problem.

Wall of text ahead-- you might want to get a snack. 😁