So let's say you know this person named... uh... Shedhit. Yeah. That'll work.
Okay, so, one day, Shedhit smacks you with a bag full of Moon Pies, hard enough to knock you down. But afterwards, they apologize. They're so sorry! They didn't mean to hurt you! It was totally an accident! And then they give you a plate of cupcakes, accompanied by more apologies! Shedhit is being 💝 so kind! 💝
...but then you stop and think about it.
You've known Shedhit for years. This has happened before. They're having a bad day, or they notice you've made a new friend, or they think you're not paying them enough attention. But whatever the reason is, they say or do something to hurt you-- and then later, they're friendly and considerate and just really wonderful to be around. Until the next time. And the next time. And the next time.
You realize it's a cycle: Shedhit hurts you, then is super-nice to you, then hurts you, then is super-nice. And every time you give them another chance, they throw it away-- and the same thing happens again. It's called hoovering.
Sadly, toxic people like Shedhit almost never change. So if you have a Shedhit in your life-- whether it's a parent, or a partner, or a friend or whatever-- you can choose to give them another chance... or you can choose to start keeping them at a distance.
(But maybe don't hit them with a bag of Moon Pies, or Pop-Tarts, or, you know, bricks or something like that. And don't go off on them, all right? Seriously, people like Shedhit don't deserve your time, or your energy, or your attention.)
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