So let's say a toxic person is trying to talk you into going on a cruise with them. But the cruise ship is already a wreck-- you can see actual holes in its sides! When you point this out to Toxic Person, they tell you you're overreacting. Nothing is wrong with the ship!
Then, they tell you that if something is wrong with it, well, you can always just make sure you get on the lifeboat! Or if that doesn't work, the life jackets will protect you! And really, you're just over-reacting and spoiling everyone else's fun-- when you should be grateful that they're willing to take you along with them on this amazing trip!
But you know it's a bad idea. You can see that it's going to have a very unhappy ending if you go along. But if you don't go, you'll never hear the end of it-- Toxic Person will complain and whine for centuries.
What are you going to do?!
Toxic people can be very, very good at setting up no-win situations. If we don't do what they want? We're horrible people. If we do what they want, and things go wrong? It's all our fault.
When a toxic person plays the no-win game with you, maybe try this: Ask yourself "What's going to cause me the least harm and stress?" And then, go with that option.
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