Toxic behavior

Toxic people may...

• treat their partners like extensions of themselves. If we're not perfect, if we make mistakes, if we don't do exactly what they tell us to do when they tell us to do it, they may start treating us like failures, or disappointments. (And they're the ones who define right and wrong, so often we're in a perpetual no-win loop.)
• treat their partners like objects-- toys that are wonderful, exciting, and adorable! Until they actually have to, you know, take care of us, or give up something for us, or if people pay more attention to us than to the toxic, or-- gasp!-- if we want to think for ourselves, or if we disagree with them. (How dare we?!)
• treat their partners like confidants and counselors and shoulders to cry on (and beat on-- verbally or physically or both).
• treat their partners like scapegoats. We get blamed for everything, sometimes for things that happened before we met them-- all so the toxic can believe that they are truly without fault.
• treat their partners like they're proof of their amazingness. See what good people they are? Obviously all of our successes are because they're wonderful people... and all of our failures are because we're horrible people who won’t listen to them!

What they almost never do is...

• accept that their partners have flaws and faults, gifts and talents.
• show their partners respect, compassion, and love.
• treat their partners like actual human beings.

You deserve better treatment than
what your toxic partner gave you.